Random replies:  Although the wonderful redhead would surely rejoice in your own happiness at a successful Mars landing, don’t even go there as a gift try :-).

May I suggest something more along the lines of Sweetwind’s “carrots” from her riddle of weeks ago??  Or perhaps a rather pricy bottle of fragrance? Think IMPRACTICAL, RJ.  If you went for the robotic vacuum (I know you), take it back RIGHT NOW!

Unable to resist the last link, let me at first take the high road and express great hopes for discovery of correction or at least relief for some types of muscle impairments.

On a lower road, it seems the human male in general bears some resemblances to the male toadfish– nevermind chimps.  From strictly scientific study I have observed the Type 1 human male and the Type 2, in terms of, uh, energy and performance.  Female toadfish and women everywhere raise a toast to the Type 1 male.  Happy Holidays!
 

…last night I got her sufficent quantities of really nice stuff, some of it not even on her list – (as I heard one guy on the radio say, I don’t shop – I buy!!!) but alas, all of it practical. Today at lunch I’ll go back to the mall and think impractical. The folks at Vicoria’s Secret can translate male hand gestures into precise sizes, can’t they? (Stay on the high road here, MK…). Maybe you’re right, I’ll stick with fragrances. And nyah, nyah, I DIDN’T get the Roomba robot vacuum cleaner, tho boy was I sure tempted…

If you can’t find something impractical at Victoria’s Secret, there is no hope for you. And because you asked, I will stick to the high road on that one :-).  Actually, I wouldn’t mind the
Roomba Robot myself, if it’s accompanied by at least a small frilly-type item.

I meant “small” frilly-type item in terms of inexpensive… not in terms of actual size.  Sorry, RJ… I can’t even take the high road when I try :)

…I think I’ve discovered the next hit in reality TV – “Men Shopping For Frilly Undies”. Will they walk in, do a smooth 180, then walk out? Will they walk in and freeze, like a deer in headlights? Will they act like they know what they’re doing when they really don’t and refuse all help? Will they stammer and stutter when given help? Will they just plain give up? Will they risk buying too big…or too small? And which would be more deadly? Will they get slutty or sexy or frilly or just plain soft and nice? And which would be more deadly? With or without a bra? And just what size is that??? Er, those??? Whatever….

It may seem that I talk big about sex from safely behind my keyboard, folks, but it’s all an act. I got jewelry next door instead.

But jewelry will do nicely, and you don’t have to worry about what size “THOSE” anythings are except when considering rings.  Okay.  You can stop BUYING now.