“Hey fat boy! Wanna race? I bet I can win because all of those rolls will slow you down,” said one of my classmates at recess. I hear it a lot. Everyone makes fun of me because of my weight. Its hard being in 7th grade with a bunch of people that you have to hear make fun of you everyday. It doesn’t get much better at home either.
My mother is a drunk that and we are always moving because she gets kicked out of houses fast for not paying rent. My mother rarely tells me she cares about me. The only time she might have said it was when I was a baby. I know she doesn’t care about me at all now. She only had me because she used to be with a lot of different guys. Im just a mistake. A big mistake.
“Grab me a beer Lenny” said my mother as I walked in the door. I walked into the kitchen to give it to her. The kitchen is a little room with ripped yellow wallpaper. She was sitting on the chair by the kitchen table. Her long brown shaggy hair, not very taken care of as always. Smoking a cigarette, finishing her beer, getting ready to chug the next one.
I go up to my room, listen to some music, attempt to try some of my homework. I think about what I would be like if my mom was a normal mom that loved me. I would probably be wearing clean nice jeans, with a nice clean shirt, maybe even shop at stores like American Eagle and other popular stores. But im stuck wearing ripped, old, dirty jeans from the Salvation Army, dirty shirts that are paper thin that I’ve been wearing since 4th grade, and sneakers that I got from a teacher that felt sorry for me in 5th grade. I was pretty relaxed just thinking on my bed.
“Lenny, get down here right now!” said a voice that sounded that a dying bird that happened to be my mother. I walked down the stairs.
“Lenny, I found your report card you were trying to hide from me. Your getting all F’s! And don’t you ever try hiding things from me again!” said the beast.
“Im sorry mom, Its just because you kept me home a lot to unpack and I am new so it is taking me a while to catch up to everything, Its really hard when your moving to a different place every year because you keep not paying rent for our houses.” I said. Then all of a sudden I felt a sharp burn in the left side of my face, All I remember seeing is my mother’s mad face looking at me. My mother slapped me, another one of the ways she hurts me when she’s drunk. This has been going on since I was 7.
As years pass my mother’s drinking problem got worse. We moved to Winchester, Ohio. I am now in 11th grade, 18 years old because I failed a grade with all of our moving. I have to take anger management class because I was known to flip out on teachers when I am having bad days. I cant stand being with my mother. I plan to move out when I graduate high school.
I have gotten a job at a Mobil station. It doesn’t pay great but it is enough to take care of myself. I have been having trouble in school. For me it is very torturous. I often flip out on teachers for little reasons, such as telling me I cannot go to the bathroom when I have to go bad, when they tell me to go to the office for being 2 minutes late, and many other things.
I have gotten worse with everything. I used to take my anger out verbally at people, but now I’ve started to get in fights with people and occasionally smack and kick animals. I don’t know why I’ve become like this. When I do these things I feel better, yet sometimes I know its wrong but I do it anyway. I am failing school, but I am graduating next year anyway, hopefully.

I have started to abuse the animals to death, sometimes I liked to save a part of their body. Such as eyeballs, teeth, bones, and other things. It is a sadistic hobby that I enjoy. I do not have feelings for animals nor many humans. Time goes fast and so does the end of 12th grade. I am still not doing well but I managed to pass. I still do not get along with people nor teachers. I have finally moved out I heard that my mom has some new boyfriend. She calls about once every 4 months. Probably just to see if I’ve made any money that she can have. I send her money occasionally when I have extra money from work that I don’t use for food or bills at the time.
I managed to graduate high school. Not a very good degree but I am glad it is all over. I do not plan on going to collage. To me school is rather pointless when It gets past 9th grade. It is now a Saturday, I walk into my apartment, sit down and turn on the television. While im flipping through the channels I hear the phone ring.
“Hello?” I said.
“Hi Lenny, Its your aunt Marie..” she said.
“Lenny, Im so sorry….”
“What’s wrong?” I said.
“Lenny,..Your mother is dead.” said Marie, sounding like she was about to cry.
“Wha-what? How? What happened?!”
“You know that boyfriend she had?”she said..
“Yeah..”
“Well, they were both getting drunk and they got in a stupid fight and I believe that he hit her over the head with a rock..Others think that she was drunk and just hit her head on a rock really hard…”
“I cant believe this….”

And on went the apologies, then she told me when the funeral was. For some reason I wasn’t very sad at all. I was just mad at this guy that killed her. And he wasn’t caught either, some believe that she just fell and hit her head on a rock. After sitting around and thinking about it for a while I made the plan that I am out to get this man that killed my mother.
After asking many people, I finally found his house. At first I was very nervous to step up to the door but I did it anyway. I knocked on the door and when he answered the door I told him that I was his girlfriends son and wanted to know if he was going to the funeral or not. He said that he didn’t know if he was going or not, because of “business reasons.” I looked around his house, there were many hunting things. Especially a very big and heavy hunting gun.
I asked him if I can look at it. He said I could, I took it down and pretended to seem interested in it and asked him a couple of questions about it. While he was turned around fixing the taxidermy fish on the mantel over his fireplace I gripped onto the gun and whacked him over the head with it, watching him knock over the cloth as well as the taxidermy fish on the mantel.
For a second I felt a little remorse. Then I felt proud of myself.
Then I thought, I cannot just leave him here, out in the open. I will have to hide the body. I didn’t know it would be this complicated. I decided I would bury him far in the woods behind his house. I go over to the body, try to pick it up, It is very heavy. I will not be able to get this to the woods in one piece.
I need to find another way to get it there. After thinking long and hard I decided to cut the body into pieces. I look around the house, as the body still lay beneath the fire place. I walked onto the back porch and looked around. I found a hatchet over near a pile of wood. I drag the body into the kitchen which is near the back porch. Luckily he lives in an open field so there isn’t any close neighbors.
I laid the body on the floor, the blood still coming out of the spot where I hit him with the gun. I lifted up the hatchet, thinking about what he did to my mother, and slam it down full speed on his left shoulder. I heard a soft crunch noise as his arm detaches from his body.
On I go chopping off his legs and arms. Then his head, and last but not least, his abdomen. I have to cut his body in half in order to be able to fit it all in a garbage bag and bring it out to the woods. I looked at the body parts laying on the floor, the huge puddles of blood coming out from every detached limb of his body. I lift up the hatchet and slam it on his stomach. I have to whack it a few more times so it is completely cut through. His intestines and other organs slowly slide out of the opening of his stomach.
I look around and finally find a garbage bag in a drawer near the sink. I look around, and see rubber gloves next to the sink, I put them on. I hold the garbage bag in one hand and pick up all of the pieces of the man that killed my mother. After I have all of the pieces and organs in the back, I set the bag aside and grab the roll of paper towel from next to the sink.
I started to put it over all of the blotches of blood on the floor. I picked up the blood drenched pieces of paper towel and throw them in the bag with the pieces of his body. After using practically the whole roll of the paper, I wet another piece of the towel and start to clean up the dried splats of blood that I missed. When the floor and walls are spotless, I walk out to the porch with the bag.
I looked around, behind the wood, next to the door, and finally found a shovel next to the stairs. I grabbed the bag and threw it over my shoulder and pick up the shovel. I looked around and then started heading out to the woods. I walked about a half of a mile or more into the woods and started digging. I dug for about an hour and then threw the bag into the deep hole. I started to shovel the cold dirt over the bag. It took about a half hour to forty-five minutes to get it completely covered. After I covered it, I packed the dirt down so it looked natural.
I grabbed the shovel and walked back to the house. I put the shovel back where it was, next to the stairs. I walked in the house, closed the back door and check to see if everything looks natural. I walked into the living room and place the taxidermy fish back on the mantel, along with the gun back where It was.
I looked around, thinking of what I have just done. I feel a way I’ve never felt before. I feel like I am the dominant one now, I have control of my life. I feel rejuvenated. I looked around the room one last time. On my way out of the door I locked it so it looks natural.
I hopped into my van and looked at the house. I stared at the house for about five minutes and then drove away. I finally got into my apartment and closed the door. I laid down on my couch and thought. Thoughts of his body flash into my mind. I go to sleep on the couch. I stay in my apartment for the next few days. I decided to turn on the televison.
“39 year old man missing, If you have any information then please call..” Said the newsman.
It was him, my mothers boyfriend that was the missing man.
I decided to take a drive around town. It was about 10:00 p.m. and all of the lights of the city were on. As I drove into the night I saw about 3 or 4 bums on the street. Some walking around with shopping carts, others sleeping with blankets and bags on the corner. I drove near and alleyway with what it looked like to be about 10 prostitutes. I decided to go down the alley.
As I drove by all of the women, dressed up in pink mini skirts and white low-cut belly shirts, I saw them all looking at me. I stopped the car, one of the women walked up to the window. She was wearing a blue latex mini skirt and high white boots.
” Hey baby, Ill come back to your house with you for $50 an hour.” she said.
” Yeah, that would be great, hop in my car.” I said.
She got into the passengers seat and closed the door. I started to drive towards the road. I was really nervous I never done anything like this before. I didn’t say anything to her because I didn’t know what to say. After driving for about 10 minutes we get to my apartment. It is about 11 p.m. so there isn’t anyone around. We got into my apartment. She sat down on the couch, I sat next to her.
” So what do you want to do hun?” she said, smirking. I didn’t know what to do or say.
” Would you like some wine?” I said nervously.
” Sure that would nice.” said the woman. I went into the kitchen. I looked around for something. I grabbed a knife from the drawer. I slyly sneaked into the living room behind the couch. I got directly behind her, right above her silky blond hair. I grab her hair and slide the blade of the knife slowly across from one jaw bone to the other. I watch her head drop and blood slide down her dress. I felt really relieved, all of my anger feels released.
I realize I needed to find a place to put the body. After thinking for about 10 or 15 minutes I decided that I can throw it down the garbage shoot. It would end up being put in the incinerator and perhaps turn to ashes. I walked around to the front of the couch and pick up the girl. I walked to the garbage shoot. Since it is a small shoot it is hard to get her though. I took off her huge boots and then tried again to get her into the dark cubic shoot. After shoving for a few minutes I finally got her to slide down the shoot. Then I threw her big boots down.
I went to the couch to see if any blood got onto it. There were a few drops of blood, so I went into the kitchen and got my stain remover spray and a towel. I got the stain off and then dropped onto my couch. I kept thinking about my mother and such a terrible life I had to go through. I know it is just going to get worse. Perhaps I will even get caught and put into jail. I got up off the couch and walked over to the coffee table. I then opened the drawer and saw the thing that would put all my pain and misery away. My escape out of this terrible world. It was a gun. A gun that I found hidden by my real father when I was 6 years old. I have kept it ever since.
I grabbed the gun out of the drawer. I held it in my hands, looking at it and thinking about all of the things it can do. It can take all of my suffering and pain away. It can be my ticket to a new world. A world where I can be happy and start my life over.
I cocked the gun, as I heard the little clicking noises. I slowly brought the gun up to my right temple. I thought about everything that happened in the past. Flashes of my mother playing with me at a little playground in one of my childhood towns. This was before she got into alcohol as much. Then I saw flashes of me getting older, more depressed and anti-social. Flashes of me as a child getting made fun of, flashes of me getting beaten by my mother after she started to become a heavy drinker, and many other things. Then all of a sudden I saw a flash of my mothers boyfriend that I killed, him falling, and me chopping him up. Then a flash of the prostitute I just killed.
I noticed a tear dripping down my cheek. My face was hot and so were my eyes. I decided it was time. I was very tense and nervous. I slowly pulled the trigger. A sharp pain went through my
head, for a split second I could see the stars out of my window. The beautiful dark blue sky with little white sparkling dots of stars. The same sky that the body of my mothers boyfriend was buried underneath. The same sky that my mother was buried underneath. And the same sky that the prostitute has died under. The sky that watched my mother play with me in the playground when I was a child as well as watch my mother beat me as a teenager. The sky that I will now be buried underneath as well.