A large, muscular man in boxer briefs was shoving a banana down his pants. This wasn’t the sort of show that the audience was used to. The crowd watching the stage in the small private college auditorium was made up of mainly renowned scientists with a few graduate students and news reporters mixed in. The man walked up to what appeared to be largish aquarium with all sorts of tubes and wires protruding from it, plastic blood vessels and metal nerves splayed everywhere. Amidst all the chaos though one still could make out what appeared to be a brain.

    The banana man walked up to the slightly convex blur in the glass of the tank that was connected to a thick fiber optics cable and served as a lens. The theater’s sound system, which was connected to some of the lines snaking out of the apparatus, blared out in a voice that sounded remarkably like Rodney Dangerfield, "Take my wife, please!" There were murmurs in the audience.

    "On second thought, don’t! She might come, but she won’t come back. Whoa! Then who will cook my lasagna?"

    The head of this research project, who was standing near the tank next to what seemed to be some kind of control panel, spoke into a microphone, "That has been a consistent response, which we have not programmed. As you can see, this cloned brain differs greatly from your average brain grown from stem cells. It is noteworthy that it was cloned from a deceased 68 year old medical doctor of Korean heritage, though he was a third generation US citizen." There were more murmurs.

    The Rodney Dangerfield voice interrupted their speculation by speaking again, but this time more thoughtfully. In fact, in this tone it was even hard to compare it to Rodney Dangerfield. "What was I saying? What does that mean? You seem like you would know. Who are you? What is lasag-" Dr. Manson pressed a button on the panel beside him. The artificial fruit stud was still in place in front of the tank.

    "Aye! Alright already! Whoa! Get that thing out of my face! It’s making me dizzy, looking down that far. McDonald’s better watch their ass! It looks like your big dick has more meat and packs a bigger wallop than their Big Mac! Whoa! Hey! …What’s a McDonalds?" Dr. Manson pressed a button, "Whoa! How about those Yankees! Let’s see `em yank this! Hey!"

    The audience was past wonder into shock. They were silent as the large man looked at Dr. Manson who nodded an approving dismissal and then walked off stage, even as the brain was saying, "What are Yankees?" and prompting the Dr. to press another button.

    "Hey, get your hand out of my ass already! Whoa!"

    Next walked out a stunning young woman with dark brown hair, bright blue eyes and a deep tan. The most immediately noticeable thing about her though was her incredibly small triangle bathing suit top, just barely keeping her and her very large, probably fake breasts on the near side of decency. She was wearing loose fitting sweatpants bottoms. A slight buzz could once again be heard from among those sitting in out in the shadows of the theater.

    She grinned at Dr. Manson, who just nodded and smiled back, and she walked up to the tank and pressed her chest against the aquarium’s lens.

    "Whoa! Hey! Whoa!"

    "This is very interesting. It doesn’t respond quite the same to pictures or even less intense physical stimuli. Please watch and listen closely."

    "Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Hey! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!" the Rodney Dangerfield voice was repeating over and over. This went on for almost a minute, the voice getting gradually louder. All of the sudden there was an "Ahgh!" from the speakers and a small but audible "pop!" that came from the tank itself, which immediately started swirling with a red liquid. Soon, the whole tank was tinted deep red, though you could still see the tubes and wires and flesh inside it. There were cries from the floor.

    "I admit this has been a bit of a spectacle, but I wanted to prove that even the most outrageous seeming of my recent publications are true. Many people have been unconvinced, and my team and I have even been called frauds. I will now take questions." There were a lot of questions.