Other people’s dreams

There is no mystical signifance to dreams, at best they’re just your brain consolidating memories at worst random electrochemical patterns among your neurones that manifest as perceived stimuli from your senses while you’re asleep. Still doesn’t stop people mentioning them in conversation and, of course, on twitter. Does anyone but you care about what you dreamed of last night? Well, I’ve pulled a few together to critique:

“I had a rate weird dream last night that my fish committed suicide by jumpin out the tank so katie gave us hers which had feet” – You just took the first step towards rational atheism.

“I had a dream last night that I dyed my hair neon yellow and neon pink!” – neon glows orange, never yellow nor pink.

“had a dream last night that I forgot half the stuff I need to move in and I started freaking out. I hate packing I always forget something” – standard worrying about something dream, were you naked or in your night clothes, do tell.

“I had a dream last night that I was having the final battle with Voldemort. I won” – JK Rowling has a lot to answer for.

“Had a dream last night that I went to Hogwarts and the sorting hat put me in Hufflepuff” – ditto.

“Had a dream last night that I was in a “moonwalk-off”. I woke up before the results were announced, but I felt good about my performance.” – Michael Jackson has even more to answer for than JK Rowling.

“Had a dream last night I killed a 20 foot long python that was loose in the town with an AR-15. So… Yeah.” – it really is time for tighter gun controls.

“Last night I had a dream that Target was selling embarrassing pictures of me from middle school as kitchen magnets and ornaments…” – That wasn’t a dream, I’ve seen them, and yes they’re LOL.

“Last night I had a dream that my band was on tour and our bus driver was none other than Stevie Wonder.” – Yeah but who was the bus conductor?

“I had a dream last night that I got not one but two hamsters?! I don’t have time for hamsters right now, subconscious.” – Yeah, cos hamsters are so demanding, what with all that sleeping, straw and running endlessly in their wheel at night.

“I had a dream last night that I bought a hamster and it melted in my pocket” – Yep, they can sometimes be a little troublesome.

“Had a dream last night that Gordon Ramsay taught me how to give a proper handshake but it was incorrect and I felt bad so I didn’t tell him.” – Is he a Mason, then? #thumbtuck

Anyway, that’s enough for now…these are all genuine grabbed from recent tweets, all peurile and pointless…but hey…distracted me in between deadlines.