Reboot the USA #shutdown

I got an error screen when trying to contact friends Stateside this week:

There seems to have been some kind of malfunction, which is presumably due to the operating system being unable to locate moral politicians. Reloading is not an option though, look at those dates…really it needs a t-1 reboot to October 11, 1492 (the day before Columbus arrived) or at the very least there should be an option to route JFK  via TN ≠ TX.