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"My masters require all humans to surrender to the intergalactic counsel."
Kyle mouthed a few words and finally said, "Why?"
"All humans are insignificant. My masters are important."
"Um... actually, I kinda think that humans are important..."
"No. One human cannot make a difference. You all must surrender or we will destroy the planet."
"So... wait, if even one person refuses to surrender, you'll destroy the planet?"
"Yes."
"Well, that person is making a really big difference, aren't they?"
The robot sat in a stony silence for a few seconds. "Paradox-syntax error 11121. Reboot." It made a small, steady beeping noise for a few seconds. "Reboot completed. Give command."
"Er... give me all your money?"
"Recalibrating programs. Subprogram `give money' not found. Subprogram 13121 taking over... I must return to the ship."
The robot turned on its heel and stomped out of the shop. Kyle shrugged and went back to his reading.
A few minutes later, the bell rang again. Kyle looked up, ready to hide his book from his returning grandfather. Instead of the wrath of the old man, he saw a sight more terrifying than the vengeance of a thousand grandpas.
A green-skinned, black-horned demon entered the shop. Its hunched back sprouted enormous, streamlined bat wings that curved over its sides like a hideous cloak. Its yellow eyes were split in two by slit pupils like a cat's. Its white tank top was stained red, and a long tail curled from underneath its jeans. A wicked-looking spike was protruding from the end of the tail.
As it stepped towards the counter, Kyle considered running, but something made him stop. With the end of its shirt, the demon was cleaning a pair of coke-bottle glasses. It nearly tripped over a display of mini action figures and quickly settled the spectacles down onto its pointed ears. When its shirt had been lifted, Kyle had seen a small paunch, and the demon's shirt was stained with spaghetti and pizza sauce.
"Oh, boy!" the demon said. Its voice seemed to crack halfway through that short exclamation and become an octave higher. Kyle noticed ungainliness about the demon's limbs that seemed reminiscent of his teenage brother's body.
"Oh, boy!" the demon said again. "Is the new comic out yet? You know, The Locust? Oh boy! The guy who does it inked Wonder Boy #7!"
"Um... it's right there," said Kyle, pointing with a trembling finger.
As the demon stepped over to pick up the comic, he stopped to look at another comic. On the cover, a scantily-clad woman battled a shirtless, muscular monster.
The demon's breath caught in his throat and he snatched up the book. The monster scuttled over to the counter after grabbing The Locust and slapped both of the comics down onto the counter.
"Uh... so you'll take both of them?" Kyle asked.
"Yes, yes."
"Er, that'll be six bucks."
"Thank you!" The demon grabbed his comic books and hugged them to his chest. He stopped to examine some D&D action figures on the way out, but regretfully peeled himself away from them and skipped out the door.
A minute or two later, the bell rang again. Kyle looked up and was relieved to see only a man in a baseball cap with a mysterious symbol on it and a trench coat. The man walked over to where the first issue of The Locust was, picked it up, and began to walk out the door.
"Hey!" yelled Kyle. "You have to pay for that!"
The man turned with a look of surprise on his face. "But I have a pay token! The fee will be deducted as soon as I leave."
"A what?" Kyle demanded.
"A pay token! Isn't this 2005?"
"No, it's 2006--of course it's 2005!"
"So I can pay you with... wait, don't tell me you don't have pay tokens yet!"
"Look, mister, I don't know what your problem is and I don't care, but you have to pay for the comic book!"
"Okay... it's three bucks, right? Here."
He fished around in his pocket and came up with twelve grubby quarters which he dropped into Kyle's hand. Kyle examined the coins suspiciously.
"Hey! Quit trying to swindle me! They haven't come out with these quarters yet."
"Look, kid..."
"Give me back the book."
"I'm a time traveler!"
Kyle took a step back and eyed the man. "Oh, yeah? Then how come you don't know what money to use?"
"I flunked out of history--but look, those quarters will be good in a few months, just give me the book!"
"No! Why do you want it so much?"
"It's gonna be valuable--look, it'll be popular--I have to go back now!"
The man was fading away. Kyle tried to grab his arm, but the traveler had become insubstantial. The comic book was dematerializing more slowly. He quickly snatched it up and triumphantly returned it to the shelf.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" wailed the time traveler. It was too late; he was gone.
Kyle returned to his seat on the counter just as the bell jingled once more and his grandfather returned.
"Well, how did it go?" he asked grouchily, yanking the boy off of the counter.
"I sold two books."
"You made a sale, eh? That's not bad! How would you like a comic book?"
Kyle lit up. He looked around the room, grinning furiously. His eyes fell upon the one book he really wanted...
"Can I have a copy of The Locust, please, Grandpa?"
---------FIN---------
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